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Friday, July 27th, 2007
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8:05 pm
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As I was running around my street last night listening to the radio, I heard Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry," and I said to no one in particular "yes they do."
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| Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
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1:18 pm
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"Do not despise small beginnings. Start, work hard, and have faith."
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| Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
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12:43 pm
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I've been sick since forever and it feels disgusting. I can't concentrate when I feel so squeamish and I hate that.
And I can't sleep. =(
Hahah I just remembered that it's been three years since Operation:Sandbag. LOL the horror.
I'm reading the MOST AMAZING book. It's called "The Time Travel's Wife" and I love it. It makes me want to write a novel that people will ignore daily activities for, to just lay in bed by the light of a tiny lamp, and be completely absorbed by the story.
But where will I find the time? lol
I'm using all this "un-able-to-sleep-ness" to catch up on some chemistry studying so that I might ACTUALLY know what is going on in recitation today. Kudos to me for taking initiative.
I miss playing my flute.
OHHHH we almost died last night. I brought Lump to pee and looked up at the sky; it was crazy dark, but there were flashes of lightening to the south, and then suddenly it was upon us and there was wind everywhere, beating rain, I swear there was hail, and TORNADOs! My mom was freaking out. But no.. they were in Vestavia but apparently not near my apartment because even though me and Ash and Lump strained our ears listening for the "train" sound, we didn't hear one. Kindly disappointing.
Time to face the day.
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| Friday, January 26th, 2007
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3:02 am
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I'm peeing right now because I'm too lazy to actually get off the computer when nature calls... and it makes me wonder how many other people have carried their computers into the bathroom with them. Hey, it's embarrassing, but I know I'm not the only schmuck out there who does it now and again. Fess up. =)
I'm off the toilet now but have settled down snuggly smooshed between my bathtub and the bathroom wall because Ash fell asleep in my bed while we were watching a movie and I don't want to wake her up with my typing. It's odd how loud a keyboard clicks, late at night, when everything is dead silent.
Another boy has come and gone in the saga that is Audrey's life. And I'm now officially faking a relationship so that people will just leave me alone. Lame. I'm aware.
Other than that, I've painted my bathroom purple, already gotten behind on my homework, and dyed my hair a little bit blonder. I'm ready to be tan, planning a trip to Cuba for spring break, and have eaten a half a bag of M&Ms in a day and a half. Despite all this, I'm still losing weight, and I've been working out pretty consistantly, which keeps my mother happy and keeps me from having to explain my eating habits. (On a side note, we made pizza for breakfast this morning!) I need to do some more research for Dr Camata (and no, Christopher Brown, I do not have "a thing" for him, as you so keenly suggested). My room is yearning for actual furniture and my soul has already hugged my body goodbye and left for Europe. Why have I chosen to take classes this summer instead of trapesing all over France? Oh, right... med school. I now have a pretty license plate on the back of my car that says "Stars fell on Alabama" and it makes me smile to be inadvertently connected to the heavens that I love so much. (BTW, you should take an hour and ready about the Coma Constellation and it's primary binary star. Perfect symetric rotation, it's amazing.)
Thoughts jumble out so weirdly at 3.10am.
And then I wonder if any from our generation will immerge and give the rest of us hope. Or a revolution. Or a name that is honorable. And how do people make the conscious decision to be public servants, anyways? And when they do, surely it must be a selfish thing. And not selfish in the meaning that we so often associate with the word, but selfish in the true sense of the word -- to make yourself happy -- in the same sense that I am choosing to become a doctor and then go volunteer in a third world country... because it gives me a greater sense of self and purpose.
I digress.
I had a piano lesson tonight. My teacher is really nice but I can tell she's sort of Afraid of me. I seem to be finding out that more and more people are afraid of me. But I still don't have my piano so I bought a keyboard from WalMart that has once again reminded me of how priviledged I am. I cannot, and outright refuse, to continue to play on that thing.. because it's HORRIBLE. And because I've been spoiled my entire life by the actual thing.
My birthday is on Sunday. I hate birthdays.
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| Friday, January 12th, 2007
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1:51 am
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I want to be more FUNKY.
Too many things in my life are the way that are just because that is the way things have always been, and I've never really taken the time to notice.
Diet Pepsi late at night does not really help the sleeping process, but I had Chemistry labs that I was trying to finish and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I'm wide awake at 2am with no one to keep me entertained, nothing to do except learn french verbs (per l'amore de dio <<< latin), or listen to the dog who is snoring contently in my lap.
Ahh yes, and think.
Thought #1: School isn't actually hard.
What is actually hard is motivating ourselves to get up, shower, and physically attend class.
Equally as hard is the will to complete, or even start, our homework. The actual homework is not hard, and neither is the studying.. it's just the getting there that kills us.
Which.. if you think about it.. is the exact same thing as life. The end result of what we do isn't ever what actually matters anyways, but the ways and means by which we pushed ourselves to accomplish those goals. This is completely lame of me, but take, for example, the science fair projects we had to do in middle school. Did anyone ever stop and admire your own science project as much as you did (assuming you did a good job)? No. Because the real admiration that you feel in yourself is not the physical project standing in front of you, or the things that you "learned" from the scientific method, but all those pretty construction paper cutouts bedazzled with glitter that took three hours to glue *exactly* in place.
I wish college had more construction paper and glitter. Glue happens to be one of my strong suits.
I've been having a battle inside my brain lately. Yesterday, I was so quick to judge because I thought that pyschology was a worthless major. "There's nothing CONCRETE learned from pyschology," I said. "No formulas or absolutes, or anything you can prove with logic. Math or science is a much more reasonable major because... it's reasonable."
And then I stopped. And realized. What are the important things, truely? Our houses, our cars, our clothes? The concrete things that surround our lives... or the abstracts like love, friendship, and determination? Things you can't reach out and grab, but that are more real than the pythagorean theorem and Columb's Law. Maybe I'm trying to learn the concrete.. the 'for sures'.. the formulas... so that when I step out into the world, I know what I CAN control and what CANNOT be controlled, and therefore not tried to control. Afterall, we can offer ourselves and our loyalties to a person, but can we ever actually assure their friendship in return?
Is it more silly to define the undefinable (love) with the define (formulas and laws), or try to define the undefinable (love), and then use the undefinable (pyschology) to define the undefinable (again, love)?
And the sillier (yes, I understand that that is not really a word) thing is that I actually understand what I just wrote.
To bed.
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| Monday, December 25th, 2006
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3:44 pm
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I had lunch three times yesterday.
1. Nathaniel, Mark, and Tommy
2. Steven and Sam
3. My family
I got made fun of for hanging out with all boys.
I guess the stomach ache last night should have been expected.
But maybe it was all the food I ate at 3am from the glorious Waffle House after midnight mass.
I WENT TO MIDNIGHT MASS!
It was fun. Except Sam was like.. "I feel like we're in the middle of a play where everyone knows the lines and motions but us" and I couldn't agree more. Good thing Steven is Catholic. Hah my mommy and Dave came too.. just for kicks.
Christmas was amazing. I made my daddy so happy that he cried. We're talking...sobbing. New York here we come.
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| Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
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3:00 am - Stray dogs and milk duds
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I went to see a movie tonight.
The love messages I received on my phone were a good way to get me distracted from the plotline and confuse the heck out of me.
And as we left the parking lot, I saw a stray dog and quickly yelled at Rawlins to STOP THE CAR. I got out and crouched down because I was like OH CRAP. HE MIGHT HAVE RABIES. But when I didn't see any foaming of the mouth and he started licking my hand like crazy, I figured he was okay.
So I made Raw give me his Milk duds and I started feeding them to the dog. And if the chocolate kills him, bless his soul, it was a good last meal. BUT he did sit down when he wanted more! It was really cute. And then when they were all gone, he jumped up on me and tried to eat my cell phone.
I called 411 and woke my mother up at 1am to try to find the number for animal control to come pick him up so he wouldn't get run over, but I wasn't successful and my mommy told me to quite being so hyper so early in the morning. =[
He wouldn't jump in the car, so we had to let him go.
I'm sad. I miss Milk dud, the stray doggy.
Goodnight.
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| Monday, December 18th, 2006
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2:59 am
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I went to an open house party thing tonight with all of my church people, got the current gossip, and then left with the two troublemakers.. as my mother so nicely put it.
Trouble makers that we are... we drove around in Fort Walton and Destin and then ate some Taco Bell. "I'm Fulllllllll." and "Let me call you Eve." turned out to be the jokes of the evening. My my, aren't we bad.
Lame.
An old friend from 7th grade randomly talked to me this evening. It's crazy how much catching up we had to do.
I'm super sleepy and I have to finish watching "March of the Penguins."
Europe has been calling my name.
Shove me on a plane, I'm ready to leave.
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| Sunday, December 17th, 2006
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5:07 pm
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It's like my body can't sleep enough. I swear. lol
Ummmm.. the office christmas party was fun. Thank GOODNESS there wasn't a huge run in between me and Tim. I spoke three words to him and that was enough.
The entire FWBHS jazz band came, including Mr Folsom, and played for like.. an hour. That was fun too.. except sorta weird because you never expect to see all the school people at your house.
Besides that, I think that I have now officially heard enough people tell me that I am 'too skinny' to last me the rest of my life. I am still going to lose ten more pounds; people's opinions be damned.
I went to Jess and Jare's and saw baby Madelyn! She was so cute and she fell asleep on me. I will be a good mommy one day.... in the far FAR future.
I also saw Chris and Rachel! Yay! I love them even though we only talked for like ten minutes because I wanted to catch the thousand dollars worth of fireworks that my father bought to shoot off. I'm glad that someone I know has the sense to wait until they are officially good and ready and settled in to have fifteen children. Or maybe I'm just all for it because it's what my parents did (minus twelve.)
I need to go Christmas shopping but.. #1: I'm broke. And #2: I have NO CLUE what to buy. This conundrum can wait another day though.. because I have an ear infection and yucky in my throat and I'm wayyyyy to lazy to get dressed and fight the crowds.
I want to play in the snow.
My mommy asked me if I would drive up to Canada with her for Christmas eve, and I just might. Midnight mass up there is too pretty to miss. And I hear it's like 10 below right now. Hahahah time to break out those Kanuks.
I'm sad today.
And I don't really have a reason why.
Grrrr.. and I have a pimple. =[
I've started the 6th Harry Potter book again, and I think I shall let it claim my life for the next couple of days. It's fun to sit and read and disappear and have no responsibilities and no homework!
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| Thursday, December 14th, 2006
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4:35 pm - Another check mark on the ToDO list.
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I'm sitting in the school parking lot, where the wifi still reaches me, basking in the warm sun and waiting for Ashlie to finish her Chemistry exam. I've finally taken all of my semester exams and all I can say is.... turn off the lights, I'm ready to catch up on all that missed sleep.
But UNFORTUNATELY (and nto so unfortunately), I'm driving home tonight.. so sleep shall have to wait as I pack my bags, grab my little devil dog, and journey home. Too bad my room in Florida is under construction and I have no where to actually CALL my bed.. but that's cool... any surface softer than rock should do. =]
The last couple of days have been uneventful.. minus the daily scrounge through the kitchen to see if I can find anything to eat.
Studying, library, trips to the lawn to make the doggy pee, eating chocolate and Nesquik, being stressed... lol it's not really been that bad. Plus, I found out that I made an A!!!! in CalcII. I was TRES excited. (that's for you ash.)
AHHH ASH IS HERE.
Gotta go!
LOVES!
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